i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
