I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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