I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
