did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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