Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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