new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
