she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
