What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
