ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
