And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
