just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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