Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
