her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
