Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm at about main and main street
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
