i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
