Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
