Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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