windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
