i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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