All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
