dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
