he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
foreskin is a definite game changer
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
