I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
