3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
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I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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