i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
