new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize