When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You need Xanax blowdarts
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
