so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize