Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize