you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
