We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize