Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
