"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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