Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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