My friends, they love my intelligence
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
