worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
