The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
