Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
