oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
