Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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