I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
