thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
