Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
