I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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