if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
