In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
