i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There's always time for handjobs
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
