How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Someone came in the potted fern
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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