I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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