I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Are we still banned from the library?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.