I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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