Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
