How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
