She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
