ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
