Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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