She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did you pee in the oven last night??
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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