Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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