my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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