Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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