he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
