READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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