it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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