I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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